i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
