At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just puked most of my soul out..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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