Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
