Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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