roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
