Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Randomize
