Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
