she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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