Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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