I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
