you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You made out with two different species that night
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
not ubering you a puppy
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
