i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
