ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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