WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
