Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
