My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
