No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
