There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
