Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
