At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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