I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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