your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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