That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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