i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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