What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I cut my penus on the lid.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
this will be a night to untag.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
