Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
