JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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