Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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