So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
