:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
