You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
