So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
