I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
dude. I can hear the air.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
