She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
