I faked an abortion last night.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
