I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
