your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
