quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
