Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
