i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
What drink are we having for lunch?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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