I can text with my tongue
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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