well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
