His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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