Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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