so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
