i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
