wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
