My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
