I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
