He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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